You're Always With Me

When ever Christmas time comes around I sit in my room alone. I light some candles and cry. This is the time I get to mourn. I hate Christmas with a passion. It reminds me of who've I've lost and that I will never get the chance to tell them I love them. It's dark in my room. Only candles to light my way and my music is playing. Believe by Blood On The Dance Floor. I smile. He was my rock. My one true friend. The tears started to fall as my shadow flickered across the floor. My phone began to vibrate with a text. "Are you coming? It's going to start soon. He'd want you here". I got up and pulled my jacket on. Soon I was climbing out my window and running. I could feel the wind hitting my face. I was freezing but I didn't care, I had to get there on time. He'd want me to. I imagined him by my side, running with me like we use to when he got the chance. I pictured his smile and I could hear his laugh in my ears. Everything was great til it wasn't. I never got to tell him I loved him and it hurt. I hope he knew. I remember each little conversation and every little detail about him. I looked up at the sky as I began to walk. The stars sparkled so bright just like his eyes. I started walking up a hill but not just any hill. It's where we first met, where we would go to talk, where our friendship grew stronger and where he died. It was truly a beautifully tragic place. I got to the top to see lights glaring at me. Laughter and joy filled the air. Oh, the irony and how I'm sure he'd love it. "Hey! Come here! This one was made just for you." A friend had called me over and handed me something special. He really would love it. All our friends were here celebrating him. I held up the lantern that they made just for me. His face printed upon it. I smiled and wrote "I love you" on it. Then we let lit the candles and let the lanterns find their way to him. I whispered my hopes and dreams to him. And at last I told my dear friend I loved him and I know he heard me. He'll always be with me.